I,am an American.I believe that,as an American,I am living in the one country in the world without any real traditions.Traditions to be proud of anyway.With the current War On Terror and,more specifically,the war in Iraq,it is fatally obvious what a distinct disadvantage this puts us at.I strongly believe that this is one of the major reasons we lost the war in Vietnam and have yet to figure out any reasonable way to end the continued senseless loss of American lives in Iraq.In both cases we were faced with an enemy that had,and have,extremely long histories of their own,rich with cultural traditions and a shared identity,that didn't,and won't,allow us to defeat them.Granted,in the Middle East in general,the 'art' of war has also been a major part of their culture.It is a part of who they are.And,sadly,as much as McDonald's is a part of who we are.We like to talk of the American Spirit,the American Way and all point to how well we pull together in times of crisis but,that's the problem.The only time we DO pull together as a people IS in times of crisis.Otherwise the phrase of the day is 'sucks to be you'.That's why all the flag wavers were able to pull themselves away from their widescreen HDTV's long enough to race out to their SUV's and drunk drive around in miles long caravans shouting and beeping their horns all the while carrying signs that said KILL THE TERRORIST BASTARDS!!Of course once we got over there and the fighting and bloodshed was on somebody else's soil then,50% of the people that backed the idea in the first place,sat back and realized that their sons and daughters were the ones that were going to be called on to just do it xand changed their minds.

911 was the ultimate double fisted fuck you to a country that prides itself on being a 'melting pot' for various cultures.So much so that we welcomed the terrorists into our midsts and allowed them to become a part of that mix.You see,the melting pot is supposed to be some great analogy created by poltiticians.In actuality it only barely obscures the fact that we can't abide by having any true diversity in this country unless it's been homogenized.In every city in every state of the entire country there are organizations that struggle to maintain the heritage of each groups' countries of origin.Portuguese Social Clubs.Italian American Clubs.Franco-American Society and so on.Hell,usually the only organizations that include just the word American anything are the ones that represent the ones full of guys that had the misfortune of having been sent overseas to have the 'chance' to kill possibly some of their own former fellow countrymen. Unless you count the American Cancer Society,The American Diabetes Association or,the penultimate defender of individuality,no matter what freakish form it takes,The American Civil Liberties Union......but I'm not gonna'face that band of misdirected retards just right now.....

We have won many battles out of sheer superiority of firepower.From the way we nearly eradicated the indigenous peoples of this country during it's birth to the 'back the fuck off or we'll incinerate you' rhetoric of the Cuban missile crisis.When it comes to giving somebody a good old fashioned Brooklyn beatdown we're at the top of our game.Just look at how easily and nearly bloodlessly we managed to make our way to Baghdad.We DO have a tradition of that I suppose.If we hadn't gotten involved in the World Wars,Hitler probably would've lived a lot longer and the Japanese people wouldn't have to mourn their dead at Hiroshima and Nagasaki memorial ceremonies every year.Which isn't to say that either the German or the Japanese don't have rich cultural histories of their own.In Hitler's case,he just tried a little too hard to rewrite it in his own name at the cost of the German peoples.And in Japan's case,they just seemed to care about their people enough to say,'holy shit,that's it,we quit!!'.Of course both countries now have flourishing economies thanks,in part,to our aid at rebuilding their countries.Too bad there couldn't have been more of that going on in this country.But I guess we had more missiles to build.....

As American as Mom and apple pie.....that's what they say right?!Well guess what,everybody on the god damned planet has a mother!!And apple pie??APPLE FUCKING PIE??Is that the best we have to offer after a little over two hundred years?!Oh and don't let me forget,GOD,GUNS AND GUTS or the old standard,GAS,GRASS OR ASS,NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE.......THAT is our shared rich national cultural heritage.An endless line of pop culture sound bites.Where's the beef??Great taste-less filling.Yo'quiro Taco Bell?!That all depends on what your definition of 'is' is.And that good old American standard heard round the world,'have it your way'.....Yeah,that's right,we're going to go down in history as the country that McDonaldized and DunkinDonified the entire fucking world!!